Move, Nourish, Connect, Be: Four daily habits to protect our mental well-being while sheltering in place

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It’s a crazy time. Here in the Cal­i­for­nia, we are shel­ter­ing-in-place, leav­ing the house only for essen­tials like gro­ceries and med­ical care. And while we’re all (appro­pri­ate­ly) focused on car­ing for the phys­i­cal health of our­selves, our fam­i­lies, our com­mu­ni­ties, and soci­ety at large, our men­tal, emo­tion­al, and social health needs are quick­ly emerg­ing as pro­found­ly impor­tant, as well.

I’m exec­u­tive direc­tor of Open Source Well­ness, which brings peo­ple togeth­er to learn and prac­tice the behav­iors that gen­er­ate human health and well-being. Our core idea is that com­mu­ni­ty is a form of med­i­cine. And while we aren’t phys­i­cal­ly gath­er­ing right now, I’m hap­py to share some of what we have learned for your reflec­tion and per­son­al prac­tice dur­ing this time.

First, our every­day social struc­tures have been altered, and some have even evap­o­rat­ed. These struc­tures nor­mal­ly cre­ate connection—in meet­ings and at the water cool­er at work, in class and at the play­ground at school, at the gym and the cof­fee shop. They also cre­ate dis­tance: We say good­bye to our part­ners and kids in the morn­ing, and we greet them again in the evening. All of this hap­pens auto­mat­i­cal­ly, with­out much effort on our parts. It’s built in to the struc­ture of our soci­ety! And while we like to rail against these struc­tures (“Same old, same old, every day”), when they are sud­den­ly removed, peo­ple respond in inter­est­ing ways.

Some may ini­tial­ly delight in new­found freedom—the removal of con­straint. “I can do what­ev­er I want to! Net­flix, paja­mas, and choco­late all day!” It’s delicious—for a moment.

Oth­ers might be ini­tial­ly ter­ri­fied by new­ly imposed con­straints. Chil­dren home all day every day. Spous­es sud­den­ly inhab­it­ing the same space 24/7. No more trips to the gym, the café, or your friend’s house. “I got­ta get out of here. I can’t breathe!”

Still oth­ers are feel­ing anx­i­ety, or even ter­ror, about the sud­den, yawn­ing hori­zon of soli­tude. No social events, no class­es, no sports…aloneness. “Is any­body out there?”

It’s nor­mal to stag­ger when the old struc­tures are swept away—but we have the oppor­tu­ni­ty (and the imper­a­tive) to cre­ate our own. Inten­tion­al­ly. For our well-being, and the well-being of our fam­i­lies and com­mu­ni­ties, we are called upon to design sus­tain­able struc­tures that pro­duce san­i­ty, safe­ty, and human thriving.

Whether you’re in gen­er­al­ly good health or strug­gling with chron­ic phys­i­cal or psy­cho­log­i­cal con­di­tions, we believe that every per­son needs these four things, every day!

1. Move. Our bod­ies need to move. They need to stretch, reach, twist, bend, step, sweat, to what­ev­er degree works for our unique shapes and con­sti­tu­tions. They don’t care if it’s at the gym, out in the neigh­bor­hood, or in your liv­ing room—they just need activ­i­ty. It’s not just about “stay­ing in shape.” It’s about your immune health and your men­tal health, as well! Build move­ment in your struc­ture, at least 20 min­utes per day! YouTube exer­cise videos range from three-minute work­outs to more than an hour, and many of them are fam­i­ly-friend­ly, too.

2. Nour­ish. You might have a sense of what foods make you feel live­ly, focused, resourced, and sane, right? And there are cer­tain­ly those that are just for fun (hel­looo, choco­late). At Open Source Well­ness, we sug­gest not ban­ning or out­law­ing the small treats that bring you joy, but rather set­ting up a dai­ly struc­ture that (most­ly) fills you with nour­ish­ing, healthy foods. Always want­ed to make a dietary change, learn to meal prep, teach your kids to cook, or sam­ple a new cui­sine? Now’s the time! Struc­ture one or two 30-minute chunks of cook­ing into your days.

3. Con­nect. This one, more than ever, is key. Humans need to feel con­nect­ed. We need to feel seen, heard, and under­stood by anoth­er human—and to extend the same in return. And since it won’t “just hap­pen” through­out your day, you’re going to need to sched­ule it. More to the point, you’ll need to ask for it. To get vul­ner­a­ble enough to say, “I real­ly want to con­nect with you. Can we talk?” Tell the truth about how you’re feel­ing, what you’re expe­ri­enc­ing. Invite them to do the same. Lis­ten with kind­ness. Offer your sup­port with gen­eros­i­ty. High-qual­i­ty human atten­tion may feel like a scarce resource right now, but you can gen­er­ate an infi­nite sup­ply of it.

4. Be. Amid all the “doing”—the prepar­ing, pro­tect­ing, adjust­ing, cop­ing, respond­ing, pro­vid­ing, procuring—humans need moments to sim­ply BE. It’s not nec­es­sar­i­ly about seren­i­ty, or warm fuzzy feel­ings. It’s about paus­ing long enough to let your ner­vous sys­tem come back to base­line after pro­longed acti­va­tion. Exper­i­ment with what works for you. If med­i­ta­tion or guid­ed relax­ation works for you, great! If watch­ing a crap­py TV show while snug­gled into the couch helps you to just BE, that’s good, too. And if painful emo­tions get too loud or over­whelm­ing when you try to slow down, that’s OK, too.

Of the four aspects of this “Uni­ver­sal Pre­scrip­tion,” which ones are you strongest in? Which ones do you incor­po­rate effort­less­ly, as a part of your rou­tine? Which ones might need a bit more atten­tion, more prac­tice, more cul­ti­va­tion? Then, pick one to focus on first: How might you struc­ture it into your days?

This is an oppor­tu­ni­ty to get real­ly inten­tion­al. To choose rather than to drift. In the absence of every­thing that nor­mal­ly dic­tates our days, we are called on to cre­ate the struc­tures that will sup­port our health, phys­i­cal­ly and emo­tion­al­ly, in a time of pro­found uncer­tain­ty. Try out weav­ing Move, Nour­ish, Con­nect, and Be time into your days.

– Eliz­a­beth Markle, Ph.D., is a licensed psy­chol­o­gist, researcher, and chair of com­mu­ni­ty men­tal health at Cal­i­for­nia Insti­tute of Inte­gral Stud­ies. She is the cofounder of Open Source Well­ness, a non­prof­it ini­tia­tive offer­ing expe­ri­en­tial behav­ioral health and well­ness via a “behav­ioral phar­ma­cy” approach in col­lab­o­ra­tion with health care providers and insur­ers. Based at UC-Berke­ley, Greater Good high­lights ground break­ing sci­en­tif­ic research into the roots of com­pas­sion and altru­ism. Copy­right Greater Good.

To Learn More:

• Four tips to prac­tice good men­tal hygiene dur­ing the coro­n­avirus outbreak
• Study finds a key ingre­di­ent in mind­ful­ness train­ing: Accep­tance (not acquiescence)
• Pos­i­tive soli­tude, Feel­ing active and Future-mind­ednes: Three Keys to Well-being
• New study rein­forces the impor­tance of walk­ing through forests for men­tal and gen­er­al health
• Six tips to build resilience and pre­vent brain-dam­ag­ing stress
• The Ten Habits of High­ly Effec­tive Brains