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Top Ten Tips for Women Who Lead Men

Thinking menEllen recently wrote a nice post titled Top Ten Tips for Men Who Lead Women, and asked for vol­un­teers to offer a com­ple­men­tary per­spec­tive. I hope you enjoy!

  1. We men know we are hard to lead, and that can be stress­ful for you and for us. You should know that stress affects short term mem­ory, so it is impor­tant to be able to man­age stress well, with med­i­ta­tion or other meth­ods. Check here your level of stress to see how much this point applies to you. Please remem­ber, laugh­ing is good for your brain.
  2. Don’t think too much–we don’t. If we do, we try to find ways to self-talk us out of that uncom­fort­able state.
  3. Please remem­ber our hum­ble ori­gins. We are tool-using ani­mals, which is why we like play­ing with all kinds of toys, from a car to that blackberry.
  4. When we are stub­born, you are enti­tled to remind us that even apes can learn–if you help us see the point. Show us that change is pos­si­ble at any age. Believe it or not, we can lis­ten.
  5. Espe­cially if we can find com­mon ground: what about chat­ting about sports psy­chol­ogy?.
  6. Please moti­vate us to lis­ten and be open minded to learn with wise words. If that doesn’t work, please per­se­vere with nice words. Please don’t ever say that we are worse than pink dol­phins–if we feel attacked, we’ll just disengage.
  7. Some­times we don’t coop­er­ate enough?. Please give us time for our brains to fully evolve, we have been try­ing for a while!
  8. You can help us grow. For the next lead­er­ship work­shop, buy us copies of the Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain book. You may think we don’t need this… but at our core we really want to get bet­ter at Grat­i­tude and Altru­ism. We want to be able to play with the ulti­mate toy: our genes!
  9. If that book is sold out, we could also ben­e­fit from read­ing Damasio’s Descartes Error and dis­cover how emo­tions are impor­tant for good decision-making. Or help us improve our abil­ity to read emo­tional mes­sages. As long as we believe we can some­how ben­e­fit from it, we’ll try!
  10. If you lead some­one with Bill Gates-like Frontal Lobes, con­grat­u­late him for his brain. If you don’t, encour­age him to fol­low track. Please be patient

Now, any tak­ers for Top Ten Tips for Women Who Lead Women or Men Who Lead Men?

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21 Responses

  1. Robyn says:

    Alvaro, you brought sev­eral chuck­les as I read your response to Ellen. Inter­est­ingly, I wasn’t aware that men don’t like to think much. Hmmm… that stirred my den­drites [I’m think­ing of a response!]

  2. Alvaro says:

    Hi Robyn,

    Yes, lat­est neu­ro­science has shown that adult neu­ro­ge­n­e­sis and neu­ro­plas­tic­ity only hap­pens in women, which may con­tribute to explain that point :-)

    (for new read­ers: that is a joke!-both gen­ders can ben­e­fit from the excit­ing emerg­ing research around how our brains can lit­er­ally grow)

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  8. […] Alvaro Fer­nan­dez presents Top Ten Tips for Women Who Lead Men posted at Brain Fit­ness Blog. […]

  9. […] Alvaro Fer­nan­dez presents Top Ten Tips for Women Who Lead Men posted at Sharp­Brains: Your Win­dow into the Brain Fit­ness Rev­o­lu­tion, say­ing, “Are we ready?” […]

  10. […] Alvaro Fer­nan­dez presents Top Ten Tips for Women Who Lead Men posted at Brain Fit­ness Blog. He for­got #11: don’t try to “out-man” us by act­ing like a drill sergeant (I worked for one of those). […]

  11. […] Alvaro Fer­nan­dez presents Top Ten Tips for Women Who Lead Men posted at Sharp­Brains: Your Win­dow into the Brain Fit­ness Rev­o­lu­tion, say­ing, “Maybe men and women will work together better?” […]

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  14. the skwib says:

    The Car­ni­val of Satire (#80)…

    From the Bei­jing Olympics, to Russ­ian inter­fer­ence at the North Pole, this Car­ni­val of Satire has an inter­na­tional fla­vor, and speak­ing of fla­vor, we begin with a hilar­i­ous review of The Food Net­work from Rid­ing with Rickey.
    Con­ser­va­think has disturb…

  15. […] Alvaro Fer­nan­dez has the Top Ten Tips for Women Who Lead Men. […]

  16. Patricia says:

    As a woman leader, I think that there are is no sig­nif­i­cant dif­fer­ence between lead­ing men and lead­ing women.

    I pay atten­tion to indi­vid­ual dif­fer­ences among peo­ple. I try to moti­vate them in the way they like. For exam­ple, many peo­ple are moti­vated by money; oth­ers pre­fer praise in pub­lic, oth­ers crave sim­ple thanks and con­grat­u­la­tions in private.

    In short: Reward peo­ple in the ways they pre­fer to moti­vate bet­ter performance.

  17. Alvaro says:

    Dear Patri­cia,

    I agree with you in that there is much more intra-gender vari­abil­ity that the sim­plis­tic men vs. women par­a­digm. That is why I adopted a funny tone.

    And you are doing the right thing: pay­ing atten­tion to wwhat moti­vates each indi­vid­ual. Thanks for the tips

  18. […] Top Ten Tips for Women Who Lead Men by Alvaro Fer­nan­dez of Brain Fit­ness Blog. […]

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